Where there is light and darkness there exists a shadow too. Shadows can be big and they can be small - most times they are an exaggeration of what really is. We are born as pure light therefore we don’t incarnate with existing shadows, but because we have been born into a wounded world, our shadows start to form from as early as childhood. They start small and grow bigger overtime, especially when not addressed. Some believe that this side of us is formed as a way of protecting us from harm and self-preservation, but only valuable as a temporary fix.
Shadows are manifestations of our trauma responses.
This is why when they are not addressed and put back into the light (transmutation), they become core parts of our identity. You may have heard plenty say things like, “You can’t change me, this is just how I am”, and the amusing thing about people who talk like this is that they are usually describing their less accepted moral character traits i.e constantly being mean and/or rude, always excusing their insensitive ways, their refusal to open up or to commit etc. It’s very rare for someone to describe themselves with the above statement when addressing their better, more aspiring traits - more so their sweet side and not their bitter (hurt) side. Those around us tend to celebrate our positive traits with us as opposed to blowing our own trumpets every time our values come into question - unless of course you’re a narcissist.
As you make a consistent commitment to unlearning your sickening behavioural patterns so as to step into a more authentic version of yourself, YOU WILL COME ACROSS YOUR SHADOW and chances are you might not like what you see. Our shadow selves are the deepest, darkest, ugliest, hidden parts of ourselves. A collective of the unseen, repressed and suppressed versions of ourselves. Our shadow self is where our shame, guilt, anger, jealousy and hate lie.
As I frequently mention in this series, a community of people (support group) is encouraged to have when doing intense inner work such as this. I am no professional, but I can confidently speak from the merit of my own experiences and what has worked for me in my journey.
*Do not depend on others to fix you, especially romantic partners.
*If you realise that the shadow work is too intense, seek guidance and professional help from a therapist, shaman, guru etc.
Working on your shadow involves accepting what was, what is and what might be. The things of the past never really go away no matter how hard we try and the longer we are in denial of those things, the more the we feed into them and the more our shadows grow. It can be a very consuming process, but it's integration will feel like a baptism once you come out on the other side.
Self sabotage is a perfect example of a shadow in play. You know those moments where you feel like you’re on high alert because a familiar feeling of fear is lurking around you and your first instinct is to protect yourself from ever feeling how you felt the first time you went through it, often before it can get to you? That’s your shadow manifesting itself as self sabotage. The unreleased trauma stored in your body does what it’s been trained to do as a method of self preservation.
This mainly happens because the shadow is attached to our egos. Ego is a very delicate thing. It’s a thin line between what belongs to us and what we are owed. The things we attach to our ego are things that make us feel proud of who we are as humans of society - so we do what we can to boost it. As we grow older overtime, we realise that the ego is an only an aspect of us and not our entire identity. I believe that our ego selves are definitely useful though, they just need to be controlled a little.
Shadow work is learning how to tame your inner beast!
Taming does not mean neglect or being over controlling. To me it means knowing the balance between discipline and gentleness. It’s becoming your own teacher, and your favourite one at that. You have to fearlessly face your shadow (with some light inside you) - observe, unpack, take note and honest accountability for the damage you have done to yourself and to others.
You have learn how to apologise and also how to forgive.
What are you currently projecting in life? Is it the shadow, the light, the lessons, or the balance of it all?
The answers to all our problems lie deep within us, and shadow work is a major component of getting to the core of our bruised egos and damaged souls.
Our demons aren’t evil and neither are our shadows. They are just the neglected parts of our spirit that developed into illnesses that need nutrition and sunlight to recover.
When you begin to familiarise yourself with these deeper, darker aspects of yourself, you will come to appreciate the true meaning of Yin and Yang living in harmony ☯️
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present ~ Francis Bacon.
Stay gracious my loves 🦚✨