When we discover wounds, our general first reaction is aiding to it, cleaning it up and treating it accordingly ~ yes? Right after, we want to find the cause of this wound (who? what? where? why? when? how?) and then confront its source and take the appropriate measures required to prevent this injury from happening again, correct?
Physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually - we can experience harm that exorcises itself in many different ways i.e lies, deceit, manipulation, violence, self-sabotage and more ~ others experienced more intensely than others. Treating these types of prejudices as small as they may seem is a process that we all have to go through. Healing can be tough and in fact IT IS, and when the process of healing is not so obvious and direct to a person it can be even tougher. There are rarely any linear lines or still waves in these processes because life is simply an inescapable rollercoaster. Such experiences have taught me that mental and emotional wounds are just as cause for concern as physical abrasions, and sadly are usually the hardest to detect. This is for a good number of reasons (especially living in 2020), but these are my top three :
Lack of knowhow - we don’t know what to look for because we weren’t taught how to do that. There are not enough (updated) resources to look at or people to look to in times of trouble.
Complacency and normalisation - placing a bandaid on a deep cut and calling it a day. I call this the smile and wave technique. It never works and always causes a ripple effect.
Stigmatisation - the fear of being judged by others and its consequences.
Without wanting to sound too biased, I blame most of these rationales on previous (older) generations. I mean, not only are there personal situational traumas to deal with, but there also exists generational trauma, ancestral trauma, collective consciousness trauma, cultural trauma and so on and so forth. To a traditionalist I may sound crazy, but if you consider yourself to be any type of progressive (at least in the cultural, psychological or spiritual sense) then you’re aware of how all these things tie up and loop together. Perhaps those who come after us will blame us too, but hey - at least we’re finally noticing the patterns and trying our very best to be intentional about our collective healing in a much bigger way.
HEALING ~
What does healing entail and what are the perils of this soul crunching journey?
The first words that come to mind are soothing and gentleness. Just how you would address any other injury or injured person. You have to show up with kindness and gentleness in order to soothe and heal a wound.
This generally lays the foundation for the journey back to health, and if love wasn’t obvious enough of an ingredient, then you need to wake up!
In my Self Mastery post I mentioned self love and how that entire pyramid is paramount in learning how to reconnect back to yourself time and time again. This is a moment of application. We’re here to grow together.
Once we start to study our inner child wounds, their causes and all that Inspector Gadget stuff, then the real heavy lifting begins. Cue in the shadow work!
These are the moments in which you tap into the strength you’ve been saving up and to be very straight forward with you, the struggle really fucking hurts and you will need every last drop, so cultivate that shit. There will be guilt, there will be regret, there will be fear and there will be resentment. Feelings of defeat will hit you in the face every now and then, but the important thing is that YOUR ARE FACING IT. Running away will only bring back the blow twice as hard each time, which will only set you so far back into this journey (repeating cycles) and you probably don’t want that.
Remember when you were a child and you sometimes hurt yourself so badly that you didn’t want to tell your parents because you not only knew how big the scolding you were about to receive was going to be, but also how incredibly painful treating that injury would feel? Whether you cried, kicked, screamed or threw the biggest tantrum on the block - they would hold onto you tightly under their arm (sometimes leg 😂) and made sure to put that disinfectant directly into the wound so that it may heal as smoothly as possible. It’s the same thing here. If you didn’t go, you wound might rot! You wouldn’t be able to function properly and play with the other kids and the healing would take an even longer time than originally required. You feel defeated by the pain, feel the regret of doing whatever stupid thing you did and probably resent yourself or the environment that let this happen because you apparently had to learn a lesson here 🙄 lol.
For many the process is the same, but the journey is different.
Like a rollercoaster, there will be ups and there will be downs and even the most evolved people you know go through these zigzag zip lines of life, the only difference is that they’re more aware of what remedies work best for them so that they can reinstate their optimum health. Everyone suffers and everyone struggles. The only thing we need to remind ourselves is to erase shame and replace it with compassion, keep ourselves adaptable so that we can evolve and finally accept that life isn’t linear and we have to go through some shit sometimes ~ we just need to learn how to healthily cope ♥️
I’m doing a series on Healing and Unlearning, so look out for part two etc. on how to work through the entanglements of this riveting process!
Until next time my loves,
Stay gracious 🦚✨
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